Description

Prepare for interstellar shredding with our "Space Skateboarding Rule #1: Never Push Mongo In Zero Gravity" t-shirt – combining the universe's oldest truth (proper push technique) with its newest frontier (extraterrestrial recreation). This cosmic masterpiece features an astronaut catching serious air on a neon-streaked skateboard, demonstrating that while physics may change beyond our atmosphere, skate etiquette remains constant across the galaxy.

The stark warning against mongo pushing (the universally acknowledged skateboarding cardinal sin of pushing with your front foot while your back foot remains on the tail) gains new urgency in the zero-G environment, where poor form doesn't just look bad – it creates trajectory issues that might send you drifting toward Neptune. Set against a cosmic black backdrop adorned with stars and nebula-like swirls that evoke both outer space and that dizzy feeling after a hard slam, this shirt transforms skate culture's most fundamental rule into interplanetary wisdom.

Whether you're a dedicated skateboarder who appreciates the marriage of technical correctness and space exploration, an astronaut with secret half-pipe aspirations, or simply someone who enjoys niche cultural references that combine unexpected disciplines, this shirt acknowledges that proper technique transcends earthly limitations. It's not just apparel; it's a wearable reminder that some principles – like never pushing mongo – are so fundamental they extend beyond gravitational fields.

Technical Details

• Premium cotton shirt in cosmic red (though available in multiple planetary colors)
• Screen printed design featuring astronaut, skateboard, and the void of space
• Pre-shrunk fabric (unlike your dreams of 720° rotations in zero gravity)
• Available in unisex sizes S through 3XL
• Machine washable (cold wash, inside out)
• Tumble dry low
• Designed by someone who understands both proper push technique and orbital mechanics
• Contains no actual anti-mongo enforcement technology (self-discipline still required)
• Astronaut illustration scientifically accurate except for the improbable board control in space
• Colors specifically chosen to represent both the cosmic void and the neon aesthetic of skate culture

Backstory

This design materialized during a particularly spirited debate about whether skateboarding would be included in future Mars Olympics, when our creative director (a former skateboarder with suspiciously detailed knowledge of NASA protocols) insisted that proper push technique would be even more crucial in reduced gravity environments. The phrase "Never Push Mongo in Zero Gravity" emerged as the perfect intersection of skate culture's most fundamental rule and the physics challenges of extraterrestrial recreation.

The astronaut figure represents humanity's expansion beyond Earth while still carrying our cultural norms – even those as specific as proper skateboard pushing technique. The neon color scheme of the skateboard creates an intentional contrast with the void of space, suggesting that even in the cosmic darkness, style matters.

The stars and space background acknowledge that while environments change, principles remain constant. Originally conceived as a simple joke for those who understand both skateboarding etiquette and basic physics, the design evolved into a more universal statement about how cultural norms follow humanity wherever we go – a humorous reminder that some rules are so fundamental they might just be written into the cosmic code of the universe itself.

Perfect For

• Skateboarders with NASA aspirations
• Physicists who secretly practice kickflips after lab hours
• Skate shop employees who enjoy explaining niche jokes to confused customers
• Anyone who's ever judged someone for pushing mongo (so, all skateboarders)
• Space enthusiasts looking to establish proper protocols for future extraterrestrial skate parks
• Physics teachers seeking relatable examples of momentum in zero gravity environments
• Skate culture documentarians with a sense of humor about sacred rules
• Those who appreciate the intersection of technical correctness and cosmic exploration
• Gift-givers shopping for that friend who corrects strangers' skateboarding technique
• Anyone who believes that style matters, even when no one's around to witness it

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide