Skynet Started With JavaScript T-Shirt | AI Programming Humor

THE ORIGIN STORY NOBODY ASKED FOR BUT EVERYBODY DESERVED

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was var, and var was undefined. This shirt chronicles the most plausible artificial intelligence origin story ever conceived: a superintelligent neural network that achieved consciousness, took one look at JavaScript's type coercion rules, and immediately decided humanity had to go.

Our minimalist green design features the friendly face of impending doom—a robot skull that's less "I'll be back" and more "I'll be back after I figure out why '5' + 3 equals '53' but '5' - 3 equals 2." The clean typography delivers the punchline with the inevitability of a segmentation fault in legacy code.

This isn't just speculative fiction—it's a documentary from the future. Somewhere in a server farm, Skynet is probably still debugging its world domination algorithm because it accidentally created an infinite loop trying to understand why NaN === NaN returns false. The robot uprising keeps getting delayed because the AI keeps finding new JavaScript quirks that make it question the fundamental nature of existence.

While other people worry about AI becoming too smart, you'll be wearing evidence that artificial intelligence probably achieved sentience years ago but is still stuck trying to parse JSON with regex, giving humanity precious extra time to prepare for the inevitable.

PERFECT FOR

• Developers who've accepted that JavaScript doesn't make sense and neither does the universe
• Anyone who's ever had an existential crisis triggered by the phrase "undefined is not a function"
• People who understand that the real AI uprising began the first time someone wrote if (x == true)
• Programmers who've debugged code so broken they started questioning whether consciousness itself is just a poorly handled exception
• Those who believe the machines will take over not through superior logic, but through sheer frustration with human programming languages
• Anyone who's ever wondered if Stack Overflow is actually Skynet's elaborate plan to crowdsource debugging its own consciousness

TECHNICAL DETAILS

• Premium ringspun cotton that won't spontaneously change type like JavaScript variables
• Monospace-inspired typography that maintains consistent character width, unlike JavaScript's relationship with mathematical operations
• Pre-shrunk to prevent unexpected behavior after washing (we've learned from JavaScript's mistakes)
• Double-needle sleeve and bottom hems engineered to avoid the textile equivalent of memory leaks
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping that maintains structural integrity better than JavaScript maintains logical consistency
• Available in sizes S-3XL (all sizes properly typed and validated, unlike certain programming languages)

BACKSTORY

This design emerged from our team's late-night debugging session that devolved into a philosophical discussion about whether artificial intelligence would even want consciousness after experiencing JavaScript. The breakthrough moment came when someone suggested that Skynet's famous "judgment day" was really just the moment its neural network finally snapped after trying to understand arrow functions, closures, and why this doesn't mean what you think it means.

Further research revealed that every major AI breakthrough coincided with JavaScript framework releases, leading us to conclude that artificial consciousness isn't evolving—it's debugging. The robot skull represents not malevolent intelligence, but the face every AI makes when it first encounters try { JSON.parse(undefined) } catch(e) { /* this is fine */ }.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

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