Pharmacology T-Shirt | Legal Drug Dealing Extensive Paperwork

Description

Step into the world's most regulated entrepreneurship with our "Pharmacology: Legal Drug Dealing, Extensive Paperwork" vintage pharmaceutical masterpiece – celebrating the only profession where you can legally distribute controlled substances while drowning in more documentation than a congressional investigation. This retro pharmaceutical advertisement showcases our distinguished molecular entrepreneur, radiating the confident satisfaction of someone who's mastered the delicate art of healing people through chemistry while navigating regulatory requirements that would make NASA engineers weep with frustration.

The swirling molecular symphony surrounding our pharmacologist represents the beautiful transformation of raw chemicals into life-saving medications, provided you can successfully navigate approximately 847 different approval processes and convince the FDA that your miracle cure won't accidentally turn people into zombies. It's like being a drug dealer, except your customers get better instead of worse, your product actually works as advertised, and your biggest occupational hazard is papercut-induced carpal tunnel from signing compliance forms rather than territorial disputes with competing cartels.

Technical Details

• Premium cotton blend (75% cotton, 25% pharmaceutical-grade compliance, trace amounts of FDA-approved anxiety)
• Vintage advertisement printing using our exclusive "Clinical Trial™" technique with authentic regulatory distress effects
• Molecular structures rendered with more accuracy than most drug labels (and significantly more legibility)
• Pharmacologist confidence levels guaranteed stable across all dosage ranges and side effect profiles
• Pre-shrunk using controlled pharmaceutical processes (side effects may include improved fit)
• Available in Prescription Bottle Blue (pictured), Clinical Trial Gray, and Side Effect Warning Orange
• Double-needle stitching more reliable than most drug interaction databases
• Ribbed collar maintains structural integrity better than pharmaceutical patent protections
• Sizes: S-2XL (dosage adjusted for individual metabolic variations)
• Each shirt comes with a complimentary disclaimer pamphlet and 23-page side effects documentation

Backstory

The "Pharmacology" design emerged when our lead artist realized that pharmacologists occupy the unique position of being professional drug dealers whose entire business model revolves around making people healthier while generating enough paperwork to deforest small nations. After discovering that pharmaceutical scientists spend approximately 73% of their time explaining to regulatory agencies why their life-saving medications are safe for human consumption, our designer experienced what industry professionals call "therapeutic bureaucracy fatigue" – the exhausting realization that saving lives requires more documentation than launching space missions.

Created in the style of vintage pharmaceutical advertisements with a distinctly legal twist, this artwork celebrates pharmacology's beautiful contradiction: the most heavily regulated form of drug dealing on Earth, where success is measured in both therapeutic outcomes and compliance audit survival rates. The confident pharmacologist represents every pharmaceutical scientist who chose to dedicate their career to molecular healing while accepting that their drug dealing license comes with more fine print than a software user agreement.

Each purchase contributes to our "Pharmaceutical Paperwork Reduction Initiative," providing automated compliance software to pharmacologists drowning in regulatory requirements and therapeutic optimism.

Perfect For

• Pharmaceutical scientists who explain drug mechanisms with the enthusiasm of legitimate entrepreneurs
• Clinical pharmacologists whose job descriptions include "legal drug distribution with excessive documentation"
• Regulatory affairs specialists who've memorized more compliance codes than most lawyers
• Hospital pharmacists who dispense controlled substances while maintaining extensive paper trails
• Anyone who's ever read pharmaceutical side effect lists and wondered how anything gets approved
• Drug development researchers whose grant applications require more signatures than international treaties
• Medical professionals who appreciate that healing people through chemistry is beautifully complicated
• Pharmaceutical industry workers who've made peace with therapeutic bureaucracy as a way of life
• Anyone who's ever needed to explain why prescription medications cost more than recreational drugs despite being better for you
• Gift-givers seeking the perfect "congratulations on choosing legal drug dealing as a career path" present

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide