My Crypto Portfolio My Love Life T-Shirt | Market Volatility Dating Humor

Embrace the parallel downward trends of your cryptocurrency investments and romantic endeavors with our brutally honest "Volatile and Disappointing" t-shirt. This design features a painfully accurate chart that works double duty - tracking both your crypto portfolio and your love life with equal amounts of dramatic dips and false hopes.

The stark red downward arrows pop against a moody black background, while the grid lines provide technical analysis of your technical loneliness. Complete with cryptocurrency icons that look about as lost as your last Tinder match, this shirt tells two sad stories with one elegant graph.

Note: Past performance is not indicative of future results (in both markets and relationships).

Features:
Authentic market crash aesthetics
Dating metrics more depressing than Bitcoin in 2022
Graph lines sharper than rejection
Perfect for both trading desk tears and first date fears
Guaranteed conversation starter (until they ghost you)

Care Instructions:
Wash during market dips
Dry during false recoveries
Iron out the volatility (good luck)
HODL your favorite shirt

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

Size guide