Microbiology T-Shirt | Studying Invisible Things Wanting Death

Description

Welcome to the ultimate David vs. Goliath showdown, except David has a PhD and Goliath consists of billions of microscopic entities with serious anger management issues. Our "Microbiology: Studying Invisible Things Wanting Death" masterpiece captures the delightful paranoia of choosing a career where your research subjects are simultaneously too small to see and large enough in number to potentially end civilization.

This vintage B-movie poster celebrates our heroic scientist – complete with appropriately alarmed expression – discovering that the microscopic world operates like a soap opera written by particularly vindictive screenwriters. The rebellious microorganisms surrounding our researcher have clearly escaped their petri dish prison and are staging what can only be described as a cellular uprising, complete with attitude problems that would make teenagers jealous. It's like studying an alien invasion, except the aliens are already here, living in your coffee mug, and have been plotting your digestive system's downfall since approximately Tuesday.

Technical Details

• Premium cotton blend (75% cotton, 25% antimicrobial confidence, trace amounts of hand sanitizer anxiety)
• Vintage horror poster printing using our exclusive "Petri Dish Panic™" technique with authentic laboratory distress effects
• Microorganism characters rendered with more personality than most reality TV stars
• Safety goggle details guaranteed more reliable than actual laboratory safety protocols
• Pre-shrunk and sterilized to prevent unexpected bacterial contamination (your paranoia may vary)
• Available in Laboratory Blue (pictured), Biohazard Orange, and Antibiotic Resistance Gray
• Double-needle stitching stronger than most bacterial cell walls
• Ribbed collar maintains structural integrity better than most laboratory budgets
• Sizes: S-XXXL (all measurements taken in sterile conditions for accuracy)
• Each shirt comes with complimentary hand sanitizer and a healthy fear of doorknobs

Backstory

The "Microbiology" design emerged when our lead artist realized that microbiologists essentially spend their careers in a professional staring contest with organisms that are simultaneously everywhere and invisible – like playing hide-and-seek with entities that have mastered both camouflage and multiplication. After learning that these scientists voluntarily choose to study creatures whose primary relationship with humans ranges from "mildly inconvenient" to "apocalyptically problematic," our designer experienced what epidemiologists call "scale vertigo" – the dizzying realization that something 100,000 times smaller than you can ruin your entire week.

Created in the style of 1950s monster movie posters, this artwork celebrates microbiology's unique position as the field where the villains are too small for CGI and too numerous for traditional horror movie logic. The anthropomorphized microbes represent every microbiologist's secret suspicion that their research subjects are far more organized and vindictive than grant applications typically acknowledge.

Each purchase contributes to our "Microscopic Diplomacy Initiative," promoting peaceful coexistence between humans and the trillions of organisms who've been here longer and have better survival strategies.

Perfect For

• Microbiologists who've developed trust issues with everything smaller than a breadcrumb
• Laboratory technicians who know exactly which surfaces harbor microscopic vendettas
• Infectious disease researchers who explain pathogens like they're profiling serial killers
• Anyone who's ever looked at pond water under a microscope and immediately regretted it
• Public health officials whose job descriptions include "preventing microscopic apocalypses"
• Food safety inspectors who see bacterial colonies in their nightmares
• Medical laboratory scientists who've made peace with working alongside billions of potential enemies
• Immunology researchers who study biological warfare at the cellular level
• Graduate students whose dissertation subjects could theoretically kill them
• Gift-givers seeking the perfect "thank you for keeping us safe from invisible death" present

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide