Knight's New Battle Cry T-Shirt | Medieval Tech Humor

Description

Declare your allegiance to both ancient chivalry and modern electricity with our "Knight's New Battle Cry: My Kingdom For A Power Outlet" t-shirt – where Richard III meets USB-C in perfect anachronistic harmony. This brilliantly reimagined shield design features three crossed swords intertwined with roses (because even in dire technological emergencies, aesthetics matter), all proclaiming the desperate plea of today's digital knight-errant.

The vibrant green background evokes both medieval tournament fields and that glorious moment when your device finally shows the charging icon, while the electric lime border suggests the radiant glow of finding an available outlet in a crowded coffee shop. The established date of 1985 commemorates not the founding of some ancient knightly order, but rather the approximate year our societal dependency on wall outlets began its relentless advance.

Whether you're a history professor with seventeen devices, a gamer whose controller battery perpetually hovers near death, or simply someone who understands that true modern panic begins at 10% battery life, this shirt transforms your technological dependency into heroic quest. It's not just apparel; it's a coat of arms for those who battle the dreaded low-battery notification with the same determination knights once reserved for dragons.

Technical Details

• Premium cotton shirt in charging-indicator green
• Screen printed shield design featuring crossed swords and power-hungry proclamation
• Pre-shrunk fabric (unlike your patience when searching for an outlet)
• Available in unisex sizes S through 2XL
• Machine washable (cold wash, inside out)
• Tumble dry low
• Designed by someone who has genuinely offered territorial concessions in exchange for charging privileges
• Contains no actual power outlets (despite frequent tactile checking by desperate owners)
• Shield shape scientifically proven to deflect both medieval weaponry and "your battery is at 5%" anxiety
• Roses symbolize both medieval heraldry and that sweet feeling when your phone finally reaches 100%

Backstory

This design materialized during a particularly desperate conference where our creative director found herself offering increasingly absurd bargains to strangers in exchange for power outlet access. The Shakespeare-inspired battle cry emerged mid-negotiation, as "My phone for a charger!" evolved into the more historically resonant "My kingdom for a power outlet!" – revealing how little has changed since Richard III's desperate offer of his entire realm for mere transportation.

The shield format acknowledges that both medieval knights and modern tech users require protection – one from physical harm, the other from the social death of a dead phone. The three swords represent the triple threat of modern power dependencies: phone, laptop, and whatever new device is currently draining your last portable charger. The roses intertwined among the weapons suggest that even in our technological desperation, we maintain a certain aesthetic dignity, while the established date of 1985 with its TRD MARK notation gives this contemporary dilemma the weight of historical tradition.

Originally sketched on the back of a conference program while huddled near the only available outlet in a 10,000 square foot venue, the design evolved into a perfect fusion of historical reference and modern predicament – proving that while our power sources have changed, human desperation remains remarkably consistent across the centuries.

Perfect For

• Historians who prioritize charging cables over actual historical artifacts when packing
• Tech professionals who've offered bribes for outlet access at conferences
• Medieval literature professors with seventeen open browser tabs
• Anyone who's ever circled a room like a vulture waiting for an outlet to become available
• Gamers whose survival horror experience extends to watching their controller battery die mid-boss
• Shakespeare enthusiasts who appreciate contemporary reimaginings of classic lines
• People who plan their airport seating strategy exclusively around power outlet locations
• Conference attendees who've built alliances and enemies based solely on charging-territory disputes
• Gift-givers shopping for that friend whose panic at low battery notifications exceeds their fear of actual danger
• Anyone who's ever exclaimed "I'd give anything for a charger right now!" and genuinely meant it

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide