Insomnia T-Shirt | Midnight Thoughts Hosting Marathon

Description

Welcome to the midnight marathon nobody signed up for but everyone with functioning anxiety seems to automatically qualify for! Our "Insomnia: Midnight Thoughts Hosting Marathon" vintage poster celebrates the nocturnal Olympics where your brain decides that 3 AM is the perfect time to host a comprehensive review of every questionable decision you've made since kindergarten, complete with special guest appearances by "That Embarrassing Thing from 2003" and "Did I Lock the Door?" (spoiler: you did, but your brain will make you check seventeen times anyway).

This noir-inspired masterpiece captures the essence of the insomniac experience: lying in bed while your thoughts run endless laps around your consciousness like caffeinated hamsters who've discovered energy drinks and philosophy. The dramatic vintage poster aesthetic perfectly embodies that 3 AM feeling where everything seems simultaneously more profound and more catastrophic than it actually is – which is basically the insomnia motto.

The figure trapped beneath the racing thoughts represents every sleep-deprived soul who's ever realized that horizontal doesn't automatically equal unconscious, and that your bed can function as both a place of rest and a venue for hosting the world's most unwanted intellectual marathon. It's like having a 24-hour gym membership, except the gym is your brain and it only gets busy when everything else is closed.

Technical Details

• Premium cotton blend (70% cotton, 30% midnight anxiety, trace amounts of philosophical dread)
• Vintage poster printing using our exclusive "3 AM Existential Crisis™" technique with authentic sleep-deprivation distress effects
• Monochromatic design that captures the aesthetic of staring at your ceiling in the dark while contemplating the heat death of the universe
• Typography designed for optimal readability during late-night anxiety spirals
• Pre-shrunk using controlled insomnia cycles (no actual sleep was harmed in production)
• Available in Midnight Marathon Black (pictured), Anxiety Gray, and "Did I Turn Off the Stove?" Blue
• Double-needle stitching more reliable than your circadian rhythm
• Ribbed collar maintains structure through all phases of nocturnal overthinking
• Sizes: S-XXXL (anxiety levels not correlated with shirt size, unfortunately)
• Each shirt comes with a complimentary sleep mask that you won't use and a healthy appreciation for people who fall asleep easily

Backstory

The "Insomnia" design emerged when our lead artist realized that the 3 AM thought marathon is humanity's most universally shared yet individually experienced sporting event. After spending countless nights as an unwilling participant in this cerebral endurance race, our designer experienced what sleep researchers call "competitive overthinking syndrome" – the realization that your brain treats sleep time as an opportunity to host intellectual ultramarathons featuring your greatest hits of regret, worry, and random song lyrics that will loop infinitely until sunrise.

Created in the style of vintage sports event posters with a distinctly nocturnal twist, this artwork celebrates the peculiar athleticism of anxiety-driven midnight cognition. The racing thoughts represent every insomniac's familiar companions: the relentless mental marathoners who show up precisely when you want them to take a break.

Each purchase contributes to our "Midnight Solidarity Fund," providing virtual companionship for people lying awake at 3 AM wondering if they're the only ones whose brains treat bedtime as the starting gun for intellectual marathon events.

Perfect For

• Insomniacs who've achieved professional-level expertise in ceiling contemplation and digital clock observation
• Anxiety marathon veterans who can identify every sound their house makes between midnight and 6 AM
• Anyone whose brain treats sleep time as an opportunity to replay every conversation from the past decade
• Professional overthinkers who've turned midnight worry sessions into an art form
• People who consider "Did I lock the door?" a valid 3 AM philosophical inquiry requiring empirical verification
• Individuals who've memorized their bedroom ceiling patterns and given names to particularly interesting shadows
• Anyone who's ever had a profound realization at 3 AM that seemed ridiculous by morning
• Midnight philosophers who solve world problems while lying horizontally in darkness
• Sleep-deprived individuals who find comfort in knowing their anxiety marathons have aesthetic documentation
• Gift-givers seeking the perfect "I understand your 3 AM struggle" solidarity present

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
• Regular fit
• Side-seamed construction
• Coverstitched v-neck and hemmed sleeves
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Guatemala, or the US

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide