Flat Earth Research Society T-Shirt | Still Looking For The Edge

Description

Embrace the eternal quest for knowledge that somehow manages to ignore all evidence with our "Flat Earth Research Society" tee. This vintage-inspired design features two dedicated "researchers" examining a suspiciously spherical globe while pursuing the edge that constantly eludes them. Rendered in regal navy blue and antique gold on a shield worthy of the most prestigious pseudoscientific institutions, our emblem celebrates mankind's remarkable ability to stare directly at conclusive evidence and still reach the wrong conclusion.

The beautifully detailed crest design includes ornate scrollwork and decorative elements that lend an air of unearned authority to history's longest-running geographical wild goose chase. Dating their quest "SINCE 1200 A.D." demonstrates the society's impressive commitment to being consistently incorrect for over eight centuries – a testament to human stubbornness that deserves commemoration in your wardrobe.

Technical Details

• Premium ring-spun cotton blend (70% cotton, 30% polyester, 0% understanding of basic astronomy)
• Vintage shield emblem screen-printed using our exclusive "Antique Authority™" technique
• Gold and navy blue inks on a mathematical plane that somehow wraps completely around a cylinder
• Reinforced stitching to withstand the centrifugal forces of a rotating planet
• Pre-shrunk fabric (unlike the believers' theories when confronted with evidence)
• Available in Horizon Gray (pictured), Mapmaker's Blue, and Conspiracy Black
• Ribbed collar guaranteed not to curve unexpectedly like the horizon
• Sizes: S-2XL (measured on a flat surface, ironically)
• Each shirt comes with a miniature paper map you can use to prove your point by ignoring its inability to wrap perfectly around a spherical object

Backstory

The "Flat Earth Research Society" design emerged during our lead artist's binge-watching session of conspiracy theory documentaries while simultaneously reading a history of medieval cartography. Fascinated by humanity's ability to cling to disproven ideas in the face of overwhelming evidence, our designer created an emblem for an organization perpetually on the brink of a disappointing discovery.

The design deliberately mimics prestigious academic society emblems, complete with the founding date of 1200 A.D. – a time when believing the Earth was flat might have been somewhat excusable. The researchers eternally scrutinizing their globe represent the cosmic irony of using spherical models to disprove spherical reality. Their expressions capture that special moment when cognitive dissonance meets unwavering conviction.

Created using traditional heraldic design elements combined with subtle satirical touches, this artwork celebrates the human capacity for selective observation with good-natured humor. The shield format itself symbolizes the defensive posture often taken when cherished beliefs encounter contradictory facts.

Each purchase contributes to our "Spherical Education Initiative," providing globes to schools while recognizing that some adults will still insist they're cleverly disguised discs.

Perfect For

• Geography teachers with a well-developed sense of irony
• Science enthusiasts who appreciate the humor in persistent misconceptions
• Globe collectors seeking the perfect conversation starter
• Anyone who's ever had to explain why ships disappear hull-first at the horizon
• History buffs who enjoy medieval-meets-modern design aesthetics
• People who appreciate subtle satirical fashion statements
• Gift-givers seeking the perfect present for that friend who loves explaining logical fallacies
• Conference attendees who want something paradoxical to wear to the next Neil deGrasse Tyson lecture
• Parents teaching their children about critical thinking and evidence evaluation
• Pilots, sailors, and astronauts with a particularly well-developed sense of humor

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide